Heart of the Father.....Letter to Parents

This one stems from some of the things that I have dealt with being a parent as opposed to what is deemed culturally acceptable by our society.

I'll start of by saying it’s hard to love your kids sometimes. I hope many are not shocked by that statement, but if we can be honest our children, by their actions, can cause us to be disappointed, frustrated, irritated, and any other ated that you can think of. I have had to come to grips with the fact that my children probably won’t listen perfectly to everything I say and follow through with it. At the same time it bugs the mess out of me when you deal with your child and you pretty much can tell that rebellion has made its place in their hearts. Have you ever wanted to do something to your kids that might be worthy of a Protective Services call? Have your kids done something so heinous that you could do nothing but cry about it? Have your children made choices in their lives that broke your heart because you knew where the path would lead? These are all struggles that parents deal with, even Christian parents if we really want to be honest.

I don't personally put on the facade that as a family we have it all together. There are plenty of things that we struggle with and are praying to God for change about. Primarily my wife and I are praying for ourselves. Our area of concern at this time comes from dealing with a blended family. One of my children lives in two different worlds and at times it seems that the broad path of destruction is the path that he likes the most. It's a constant battle that has me checking myself all the time; with this revelation of dealing with my children I have learned that I must deal with my children as the Eternal Father deals with us. THOSE ARE SOME BIG SHOES TO FILL!!!!!!

I am left in awe when I realize how much knuckle headedness God puts up with from us but he never changes. He does not hold grudges and he always, always comes through in the clutch for those that are his. And let me clarify this does not mean that every situation worked out the way I wanted it to, but I can see that it worked out the way it needed to and I was still able to glorify GOD for what he taught or showed me.

Many scriptures come to mind when dealing with my children but a couple of weeks ago the Lord enlightened me with this one and I never even thought about applying that to my children. This is one of those scriptures that you normally apply to outsiders that you may or may not have love for.

Love Your Enemies

Mathew 5:43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who despitefully use you and persecute you, 45 so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you greet only your brothers, [8] what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? 48 You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Just for clarification's sake, you say how can your children be your enemies? Check this verse out:

Not Peace, but a Sword

Mathew 10:34 “Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. 36 And a person's enemies will be those of his own household. 37 Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 38 And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. 39 Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

When it comes to being conformed to the image of Christ anything that opposes that image can and should be considered hostile. Sometimes we love our families to the point where we forgo what the Lord has commanded to please them and this should not be.
In speaking as a parent we can be our own worst enemies when it comes to dealing with our children. The first set of verses commands us to be perfect in love as our father is with us. When our children USE US, disrespect, and irritate us do we behave like parents that we see on the Nanny or the Manny? No, we behave like the children of God and remain long-suffering with our children until they choose to come from under our authority or (God forbid) we have to give them the boot. When we have difficulties dealing with our children first and foremost we need to pray and not say the first thing that comes to mind because after all as we’ve heard numerous times as children “if I told you once, I told you a thousand times” or “the more I teach you the dumber I get”. Some of us just might snap and tell our children you aint gone be __________ fill in the blank!!! We give ammo to Satan, who wants the heart of our children in the first place, when we fail to relate to our children as God relates towards us. We also contribute to their spiritual poisoning as we speak curses into the lives of our children out of anger. Some of us are old enough to know that we have spoken some self fulfilling prophecies over our children to their detriment.

The moral of the story is that since we have the heart of God, with our children (the closest people to us besides our spouses); we have to represent that image to them. This means treat them with respect, teach them as well as discipline them. Too many of us just got that shoe to the head (from our parents) and can't even remember what it was that we did!!! Apologize when your are wrong. Let them know that you love them despite some of that knuckle headedness that they pull. Show them a good balance of mercy, grace, judgment, and when necessary wrath...just without the shoes or whatever you can pick up at the time. Encourage them when they do good and criticize constructively instead of beating them down verbally. Let them know that their sins are forgiven so stop telling them how many times they did this or that and deal with today's problems today. Give them new grace everyday as God does with us. Just to let y'all know I am speaking to myself as well because I don't have this mastered, but I am striving to be a better parent!

And if after all that training they seem to go astray don’t beat yourself down. As parents we have to rest in the fact the we have done what we believe God would have us to do and not think that we were just that horrible of parents that our children have not turned to the Lord yet. Remember God loves them more than we ever could. You just might be the one that plants; another may water, but never stop praying for God to bring that Increase!

Show them the love of God and maybe they might want to know the Eternal Father because of your example!!!